Anger Management Tips for Better Control
When your temper has caused harm to the relationships you have with those around you, let the anger management strategies from Bernard Golden PhD Anger Management Education help you find a new balance. Since 1994, Bernard has helped countless individuals throughout Chicago, Illinois, with his effective anger management tips. In his years of practice, he has found that any strategy that interferes with an automatic response of anger will help you effectively manage your emotions.
Bernard Golden’s Anger Management Strategies
Many people struggle with negative emotions. For your convenience, Bernard has compiled the following tips and tricks to help you manage your feelings and use your healthy anger.
- Deeply inhale and exhale 3 times when actually angry.
- Long before you are angry, learn and rehearse skills to calm your body and mind when you become angry. These can include practices in tensing and relaxing the muscles of your body, mindfulness and mindfulness meditation and self-compassion.
- Remember that anger almost always is a reaction to (and a distraction from) other negative emotions such as fear, shame, guilt, embarrassment, or hurt associated with rejection, being devalued, or feeling inadequate. Identify and focus on these reactions for better control.
- Recognize and replace unrealistic expectations you have for yourself and others – the need to be perfect, the need to be “right,” and other expectations you have regarding how you and others “should” be.
- Recognize certain of your “expectation” as a wish or hope that may or may not be satisfied– one that, unfortunately, may or may not be open for discussion and negotiation.
- Become aware of when you personalize conclusions that make you vulnerable to anger arousal. Think of at least 6 alternate reasons for the other person’s behavior instead of immediately trusting your first automatic conclusion.
- Remember that anger that feels “overly intense” may be tapping into our vulnerable “button”. This can lead us to revisit past experiences of hurt, shame, rejection, or a variety of negative emotions.
- Learn communication skills that include discussing anger and related negative emotions rather than taking actions that reflect your anger.
- With loved ones, adopt this major guideline for resolving conflict – agree to disagree for a period of time – agree ahead of time that either partner can request to shelve discussion of heated topics until you both can do so more calmly, whether it takes an hour, several hours, or a day.
- Find ways to access your most nurturing, supportive, objective self, and try to be compassionate with others and yourself.